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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

In The In Box

I spend a lot of time trying to stay staying up on my e-mail. And by that I mean, what we all do: respond, put off responding, organize into files or finding more satisfaction than is probably allowed by hitting the delete button.

If you're a mom, a blogger and a Twitter addict, like me, I don't have to tell you how downright daunting a full In Box can be. What with all the newsletters, blog subscriptions, blog comments and back and forth with family and friends, it's enough to make your eyes pop right out of your head. And now, Twitter e-mails me responses to my Tweets (anyone know how to cancel that, by the way?) It's all a bit too much for me some days. 

Especially when I've neglected it. 

I like for there to be less than 18 e-mails in my In Box, that way with the size I have my browser set to I can still see the very last one. It's the last e-mail my father ever sent me. 

Beyond 18 and his gets pushed down too far.

It's not even a great e-mail. 

The subject is sox and addresses but it was sent four days before he and my mother died so I will keep forever.

So strange that I'll never receive another e-mail from my father, but there he is, in my In Box every day. Right there with Groupon notices, Vlog Talk Weekly Prompts and tips on how to get your  toddler to eat more veggies. 

Just knowing it's there comforts me somehow. 

Except when I forget about it and then upon discovering it, my brain malfunctions for half a second and leads me to believe it's a new e-mail from him. 

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14 Comments:

Anonymous Yuliya said...

Oh I don't even know what to say to this. How about a big hug? Is that ok?

July 13, 2011 at 5:13 PM  
Anonymous Morgan B. said...

I second Yuliya. ((hugs))

July 13, 2011 at 5:33 PM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

And I third that, {{HUGS}}.

(By the way, go to settings in Twitter to turn off the email alert for mentions)

July 13, 2011 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I fourth the *Hugs. When dad died, I had a missed call from him in my call log. I remember looking at his number for weeks until it was erased over time. It's amazing how technology can remind of and seem to hold still some memories of our lost loved ones.

July 13, 2011 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Katie Hurley, LCSW said...

Oh, I am sending you you huge hugs and good thoughts. I also missed the call the night before my dad died...I have some cards and notes he wrote saved. I carry one in my wallet. Sometimes I just need to remember that he's still with me. Hang onto to that email forever.

July 13, 2011 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I have no words. That was just so lovely. Send you hugs!

July 13, 2011 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

A very good reason for only keeping 18 emails in your inbox. Like everyone else said, I'm sending you hugs for support and also some virtual wine because we all need that too. It appears you got the info earlier on how to fix Twitter but if you still need help let me know.

July 14, 2011 at 12:05 AM  
Blogger Kim @ Mamas Monologues said...

Like everyone else has said, I'm sending you hugs too.

Also? I have things in my phone saved for this very same reason. It's comforting.

July 14, 2011 at 12:17 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

My heart goes out to you. That is definitely an email that you don't want lost in the shuffle.

July 14, 2011 at 6:44 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

it's so weird how technology can keep people here longer in a way. Cort still has his dad's outgoing voicemail message saved in a zip file. It's odd to hear his voice, but reassuring that we still can. Even if it is just "I am out of the office, please leave a message."

July 14, 2011 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Soge shirts said...

Wow Tonya I missed the last paragraph and was going to reply about how my inbox was always full but then I read the comments. I think that is a great way to honor your father by keeping that email. So sorry for both of your losses.

July 14, 2011 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Nichole said...

You have touched a spot so deep inside of me with this.
The idea of having an email, a voicemail, a note...anything...from my father leaves me in tears.
Much love to you, my beautiful friend.

July 15, 2011 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger Sophie said...

This has got me all teary. Sending you all my love, Tonya xoxoxo

July 17, 2011 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

I am beyond jealous that you have this email still in your email inbox. Sadly, after I responded to mom and dad's last email, I deleted it since it was probably just a short silly email about my new apartment in Phoenix. I wish I had saved it. Of course I do have print outs of email I sent them and our convos back and forth but that just isn't the same. I swear somedays, I still expect to get an email from them. When will that feeling go away? Perhaps, never. And I guess I'm honestly ok with that. I'd love to see this email from Daddy sometime. XOXO

July 21, 2011 at 8:37 PM  

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