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Friday, May 27, 2011


This was absolutely the last time was going to do this. The final time she would ever put herself at risk. She'd been lucky up until now. Very lucky.

But, there were so many things she wanted. How could she give it up when merely entering the department store made her heart beat faster and her forehead perspire.

She did it for the rush.

She did it for the goods.

The racks and racks of beautiful designer clothing were too tempting. All her life she'd worn hand-me-downs. Not anymore.

She dreamed of owning a rainbow of make-up and perfume that smelled like money and now she did.

Which section should she hit today?

The shoe department was bustling and shoes were easy. All you had to do was keep walking.... straight out the front door.

The allure of the jewelry counter was as sparkly and shiny as ever. If that dizzy blond was working today, that would be a cinch too.

Keep your cool. You've done this dozens of times.

She gotten away with it before, in fact nothing she was wearing was paid for. She was slowly filling her closets with cashmere and silk and her ears, wrists and neck donned diamonds and other precious gems.

She wanted more.

"Sir, do you have these in red in 7 1/2?"

"Right away, miss."

And there was nothing standing in her way today.

As soon as the salesman walked away, she let out a deep breath and thought, You've got to be kidding, $715 for a pair of shoes?! It would take me 10 shifts to make that much dough.

"Here you go, I brought them in gray too."

"Wonderful, thank you. I'll just take them for a little stroll."

"Very well, I'll be here when you get back."

As soon as she slipped them on her feet and made sure that the sales clerk was a "safe" distance away, she casually picked up her over sized handbag and turned on her heel.

Keep your cool. You've done this a million times.

She walked right past the handbags and scarves and finally saw sunlight through the large glass door.

You're almost there. This will be the last time. Just keep walking, you're scot-free.

Heavy footsteps.

"Excuse me, Miss? Miss? Excuse me, do you have something you'd like to pay for?"

She was wrong.

This post is fiction and was written for The Red Dress Club's writing assignment, Red Writing Hood. This week's prompt: Write a short piece that begins with the words, “This was absolutely the last time” and ends with “She was wrong." Constructive criticism is welcome.

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Anonymous Nicole said...

SO GOOD...what happens?!?!?!

May 27, 2011 at 4:52 PM  
Blogger alicia said...

Wow. You are really becoming quite the writer lady.

May 27, 2011 at 4:57 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

Ugghhh! You captured this! Excellent use of prompt and great writing.

May 27, 2011 at 6:48 PM  
Anonymous angela said...

Great job with the prompt. I like how you have her think about the ridiculousness of the expensive shoes in relation to the amount of money she makes, but that she's drawn to those things anyway.

May 27, 2011 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

ooh...busted!! It's so interesting how for so many it's not about needing stuff, it's about the rush of stealing it. You captured that well!

May 27, 2011 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooooh...I liked this one. Great job!

May 27, 2011 at 8:02 PM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

Oooh! I love where you took this prompt. I hope this cures her of the need to shoplift.

May 27, 2011 at 8:11 PM  
Anonymous Galit Breen said...

Ooh so good! I love how fast paced this was. I held onto every word. And the ending worked absolutely perfectly here!

May 27, 2011 at 8:17 PM  
Anonymous Yuliya said...

That was a different direction to take the prompt for sure! Loved it, was so nervous for her...for good reason!

May 27, 2011 at 8:26 PM  
Blogger jenny said...

Loved this! The pacing was perfect, could really feel the exhilaration outweighing the doubt. And that ending...predictable but made me draw my breath in anyway.

May 27, 2011 at 8:55 PM  
Blogger The Reason You Come said...

Oops, I guess she's not going to get away this time!

May 28, 2011 at 2:20 AM  
Blogger K Pugliano said...

Oh, I could feel my stomach get all nervous with the "heavy footsteps"...caught!!!


May 28, 2011 at 6:11 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Oh so good! My heart dropped with fear for her at the end, it was that good!

May 29, 2011 at 6:35 AM  
Blogger Sluiter Nation said...

oh i LOVED this take on the prompt! How many times haven't we ALL thought..."I could just walk out with these?" And how it's the rush...the addiction of stealing for her.

This was really well done!

May 29, 2011 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

That was great! Yeah, what happens to her? You should really consider writing a complete book someday Tonya! : )

May 30, 2011 at 9:48 PM  

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