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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I Am A Real Housewife Of Orange County

I live in Orange County so I come in contact with the type of women on the television show, The Real Housewives of Orange County on almost a daily basis. It's usually when they are perched behind the wheel of their fresh off the assembly line Mercedes Benz.

These women are wealthy beyond belief, flashy, live in excess, completely phony, constantly in search of companionship and are terrible drivers!

10 reasons why I could not be a real housewife from any county:

1. I don't believe in plastic surgery. I've earned the wrinkles around my eyes, thankyouverymuch. Oh, and while we're on the subject of plastic surgery, they're real and they're spectacular.

2. I can't walk in stilettos to save my life. If I could, they'd probably lead me to a horrific death down a flight of stairs.

3. I don't know any rock stars or pro baseball players, nor do I particularly care to. Okay, well, maybe I'd like to meet Dave Matthews ...swoon...

4. I'm not a fake blond with god-awful roots. With all that money, you'd think they'd be able to keep those covered up.

5. I don't have a designer handbag for every day of the week.

6. I truly enjoy shopping at Target.

7. I fly coach and usually accompanied by a toddler on my lap. Good times.

8. My SVU is really a glorified car. And it's a hybrid because I care about the environment not just because it's trendy.

9. I have a farmer's tan instead of a golden brown hue evenly covering my entire body.

10. I don't decorate my child. Lucas has never had hair products in his hair nor does he wear designer clothes. My husband would shoot me first!

Come to think of it, these are probably all the reasons why I'll never be friends with Gwyneth Paltrow
either. At least I'm not the only one!

Sigh.

I live in Orange County and I'm a housewife, so I hues that makes me a *real* housewife of Orange County. BUT, I'm the flip flop and yoga pants wearing, rolling around in the park with my son, play date scheduling, three days of unwashed hair-type instead of the television variety.

This post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, Prompt 5.) 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county.

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32 Comments:

Blogger Cheryl said...

Crap. I know pro baseball players. But I'm still real - I swear!

Also, when I flew home from BlogHer in NYC last year, guess who was flying coach right with me? Vicki and her daughter!!

May 4, 2011 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I love Target I guess I'm a real housewife ... and sadly know no famous people :( ha love the post!

May 4, 2011 at 10:40 PM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Haha 'real' and spectacular'! Love this!

May 4, 2011 at 10:41 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

You are my type of housewife. I couldn't wear a pair of stilettos to save my life.

May 4, 2011 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger Sophie said...

I have so much to catch up on! I'm the same type of housewife as you are! No plastic surgery and you can tell because mine are 'real' and 'not spectacular' ; ) Ha ha!
Loved this post! I have all the other ones to comment now! OK, I'll try and do that after Noemi's swimming lesson!
Catch you later!

May 4, 2011 at 10:55 PM  
Anonymous Dominique @Dominique's Desk said...

I too can't wear stilettos..give me flats and sneakers any day... visiting from Mama Kat's

May 4, 2011 at 10:58 PM  
Anonymous Stasha said...

Does the term Housewife imply there are other wives in various locations? I just always wondered...
Any woman keeping it real in CA or anywhere these days gets my vote. As long as we outnumber the "REAL" ones the world will continue to turn.

May 4, 2011 at 11:03 PM  
Blogger June Freaking Cleaver said...

Don't kid yourself - you are the REAL housewife. They're just the plastic fakers.

May 4, 2011 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger {Not Quite} Susie said...

"I'm the flip flop and yoga pants wearing, rolling around in the park with my son, play date scheduling, three days of unwashed hair-type"

That's a REAL housewife if I've ever heard of one. ;)

May 4, 2011 at 11:23 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

You are a real housewife indeed. But with a whole lot more love and compassion. : )

May 4, 2011 at 11:54 PM  
Anonymous tracy said...

Good for you - stay true to you. This is perfect. I would never be one either. xo

May 5, 2011 at 3:20 AM  
Blogger Elena said...

Great list! I so agree with #6 - I'm a proud Target shopper, too! ;)

May 5, 2011 at 3:39 AM  
Blogger Moms said...

#2 - I am with you. Heels are not my thing.

Sometimes Target is too expensive for me. *lol*

May 5, 2011 at 6:01 AM  
OpenID heyhusband said...

"Real" housewives do not know what they're missing by not shopping at Target. That place makes you feel like you can do anything you want! I assume that's how Real Housewives feel all the time...but that's only because they have people paid to make them think that.

May 5, 2011 at 7:16 AM  
OpenID justaphillygirl said...

Love it! I am definitely right there with you on #2. Stilettos and I do NOT get along well! I'd rather be YOUR kind of housewife any day! Farmer tans rock!

May 5, 2011 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Awesome! I wanted to do a similar post but didn't have time last night to gather enough thoughts to get it on paper!

Loved Cheryl's comment about Vicki - that's too much.

May 5, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger Minivan Mama said...

I'll take sneakers and a trip to Target any day of the week.

May 5, 2011 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger WeeMasonMan's Mom said...

Oh my gosh, love it!!

Your twitter teaser totally drew me in. And much to my surprise, that was indeed what you were referring to. LOL

May 5, 2011 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger Georgia Girls said...

Awesome! I love that you are a 'real' housewife and not like the tv show variety.

May 5, 2011 at 8:59 AM  
Anonymous Bruna said...

I can't wear stilettos either and I love shopping at Target. Who wants blond hair and black roots anyways?

Great reasons!

May 5, 2011 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger The Little Hen House said...

You are the most real housewife I know! xo

May 5, 2011 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Andrea (ace1028) said...

Love it! I just posted mine and I'm so happy to hear that there are so many REAL women out there in bloggy land! :>

May 5, 2011 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Gigi said...

I love it! I agree with all..except I'm all for preventing the looks of aging. But I look way older than you to start with! :)

May 5, 2011 at 11:16 AM  
Anonymous pamela said...

I don't know any pro-athletes either!

Drinks for all the REAL housewives!

May 5, 2011 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Here's to all of us "real" housewives, no matter which county we reside in!

May 5, 2011 at 1:00 PM  
Blogger April said...

I don't watch the OC wives regularly, but I could've sworn at one time, there was at least one brunette, wasn't there?!?

May 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM  
Anonymous Cam - Bibs and Baubles said...

i much prefer the yoga pants type housewife... just sayin.

May 5, 2011 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Patrice said...

Farmer's tan...LOL! Visiting from Mama Kat's!

May 5, 2011 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Yes! Give me yoga pants and a trip to Target any day!

May 5, 2011 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Paulette said...

AMEN! Stilettos, no thank you! Loved your list!

Visiting from Mama Kats

May 5, 2011 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This is me exactly, we can have our own "Real, Real Housewives" show.

May 8, 2011 at 4:40 AM  
Anonymous MamaRobinJ said...

I love this - so funny. I forget that there are real people in places like Orange County ;)

May 9, 2011 at 9:06 PM  

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