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Thursday, February 24, 2011

This Thing Has Got To Go!

My iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship and I think we need a little time a part. To put it mildly, our relationship has gotten out of hand. One of us is obsessed and the other could care less.

The iPhone: a hundred different habit forming items all in one sleek package.

What would you give for a device that was designed to keep you connected, entertained, informed and make you completely crazy?

Let me explain...

I love being able to look up anything and everything that pops in my head on the Internet; I can self-diagnose a nonexistent medical condition, figure out the name of that guy in that movie, or the title of the song that I can't stop humming and drool over the J. Crew spring line.

I hate to use it for phone calls, but love to text.

I love that I can keep track of important dates, play Scrabble, update my Facebook status and use the built-in GPS to find my way.

I hate that it distracts me from my son, but love that I can capture daily photos of him with it.

I hate that it is the ultimate time waster and my #1 reason for not reading more, but love having it while waiting for a friend to show up for a lunch date, stuck in a long line or at my doctor's office.

I hate being so accessible, but love that my babysitter always picks up and is quick to respond.

I love that it can hold my entire music collection and a special play list just for Lucas.

I hate that the battery life is so short. My house has five power cords and I can never find one!

I love being able to check the weather, tag a song on the radio and shake in to find the closest eatery.

I hate that the damn thing was so expensive that I treat it as a second child, even with a hard case and screen protector.

I love Tweeting long after my husband has gone to sleep and making lists of blog ideas I have at 3 in the morning.

I hate that it won't let me use my potty mouth in texts or Tweets without auto correcting me... hell becomes he'll, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes, the iPhone can be and do so many wonderful/evil things.

Okay, I am ready to take bids!

What would you give?

C'mon, you know you want one!

These things really are amazing.

Actually, looking back over my list, I do believe my loves outweigh my hates...

On second thought, I think I'll keep it.

Grr.
That damn thing, it always knows how to push my buttons.


This post is for The Red Dress Club's writing meme, Red Writing Hood. This week's prompt was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you're selling things after a breakup.


This is my 500th post!
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28 Comments:

Blogger Mandyland said...

This was awesome and so funny! I just made the switch from an old school flip phone to an iPhone.

Cue angel chorus.

How do you shake it to find the eateries?

February 24, 2011 at 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Ilana @mommyshorts said...

iPhones, iPads, etc. they are a blessing and a curse. I remember being at my Grandmother's house with my whole family a few months before she passed. My sister, father, husband, uncle, cousins all gathered around. Suddenly she said— Why is everyone looking at little televisions? In that moment, we were all guilty. Every one of us.

February 25, 2011 at 12:08 AM  
Blogger Jen Has A Pen said...

First of all, it's important to point out that I have SEVERE iPhone envy. I have a Palm phone and I dream of the day I can leap into the 21st century and being one of the iPhone cool kids.

But second, I completely understand what you are saying. Love 'em. Get soooo sick of 'em.

Great post!

February 25, 2011 at 4:18 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Oh I can so relate, I actually try to lose my phone in the house often in hopes that I can curb my addiction for a few hours here and there. I thought I was the only one who waits until my husband is asleep to continue tweeting and blogging without him rolling his eyes over my addiction. Great job!

February 25, 2011 at 4:19 AM  
Anonymous Emily @ Kibble n' Dribble said...

Wow, yup sounds about right! I love and hate my Droid. Addicted does not even begin to explain it. I think is my husband wrote one of these it would be about my phone!

February 25, 2011 at 5:00 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Sigh...I so WANT an iPhone but I don't NEED it. I don't use my current cell to make phone calls so why should I buy a new EXPENSIVE phone to not make calls with? Even though you can do so much more that make calls...

Damn logical husband ;)

February 25, 2011 at 5:58 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

For many of the reasons you have for loving/hating it....I am NOT getting one! I am too easily distracted and would constantly let it get in the way of my life. I'm sure of it.

But it sure is tempting...

February 25, 2011 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

This sounds almost exactly like one of my friends. I don't feel the need to get an iPhone, but then I'm not one who uses their phone for everything. I'm just happy mine is purple.

February 25, 2011 at 8:12 AM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

I absolutely love being able to carry the internet around with me. It's been a total life changer for sure. I have fallen asleep in the recliner with it in my hand. We are as one. ;-)

February 25, 2011 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

This is exactly why I'm scared to get an iPhone. I'm just ready for that world. Lately I've been forgetting about my own phone which is relatively cool for a Blackberry so I don't think I'm ready for a new fancier phone yet. Someday though... : )

February 25, 2011 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Nichole said...

My iPhone goes wherever I go.
It's sad, really.
You're a stronger woman than I am, to even *suggest* letting it go! ;)

February 25, 2011 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I'm back again! I left you a comment this morning! I said, yeah, the battery life on these smart phones sucks! Jason always tells me to turn off the apps I'm not using - like that's gonna happen!

I also hate making phone calls, but text and tweet like a crazy woman from my phone :)

February 25, 2011 at 2:48 PM  
Blogger Jessica Anne said...

I love this! Changing your mind at the end was perfect. Just like a true addict. ;)

February 25, 2011 at 3:11 PM  
Blogger Sandi a::k::a KnitMyRhino said...

I would need therapy if somebody sold or stole my iphone. I have the shakes just imagining it!

February 25, 2011 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Love the last line!

I heart my iPhone. I will never give it up - NEVER!!!!

Ahem.

;)

February 25, 2011 at 3:25 PM  
Anonymous HexingThoughts said...

While I don't have an iPhone (AT&T hates my entire town and doesn't work here), I can relate to short battery life. And I think I can help. Try checking out this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/usb-gadgets/ceca/

February 25, 2011 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Renee said...

Sigh, I don't have an iPhone. Yet.
I do however have an iPod Touch. It's everything but the phone. Oh and it could use the camera thingy.
I am obsessive about my iPod.
I play games, listen to music, google, tweet.
And? Most of my blog posts are done from my iPod.

Sure you wanna keep that iPhone? I could use that camera thingy.

February 25, 2011 at 5:06 PM  
Anonymous Yuliya said...

Okay so I got a fantsy pants Droid and NEVER use the internet, I keep meaning to downgrade the darn plan...maybe today is the day. (Yes I know I'm weird)

February 25, 2011 at 5:06 PM  
Anonymous Leighann said...

I just got my iPhone a month ago and it's been LIFE CHANGING!!
I agree, the phone part isn't the best and battery life is terrible!
It does take away time from my family.
I love it and would have changed my mind about selling too.

February 25, 2011 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Carri said...

GASP! Don't ever give it up! Ever! My Crackberry is my new lover. Move over, hubby... you can't connect me to social media at the drop of a hat like the Crackberry.
Wait, so these things make phone calls? Pfft. Why do that when you have text, Twitter, IM, Facebook...

February 25, 2011 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Nancy C said...

So true. My droid is a colossal time suck. I will be away from it for a week when I'm overseas, and I'm nervous about it. Truly.

It's an addiction.

February 25, 2011 at 6:28 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

This has me seriously considering NOT getting one now. Thanks for the PSA!

February 25, 2011 at 6:51 PM  
OpenID transplantedx3 said...

The last line is perfect! Love it! I have an iPod and it goes everywhere I go - I really should combine my phone with my pod, after this post, though - I'm not so sure, *giggle*

February 25, 2011 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I have only a semi-smart phone. Which, while relieving some of what ails you, also does not provide the highest highs of a smart phone.

there are goods and bads to it all, right?

February 26, 2011 at 7:08 AM  
Anonymous Mom Went Crazy said...

I just got an iPhone on Tuesday. I've already spent way more time on it than a person should. My wrist is a little sore and I think I may develop carpal tunnel at some point! We'll have to start a facebook group--->save us from our iPhones

February 26, 2011 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger Sluiter Nation said...

when I am away? My phone is like my mini-lap top. It's insane. and making calls? no. I do not do that. phones make calls these days? huh.

February 26, 2011 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Karen Peterson said...

I'm having a similar relationship with my Droid.

And I never use it for phone calls. But I text ALL the time.

February 26, 2011 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Brandon Duncan said...

Ah, our gadgets... what did we do before them? I can't even remember anymore... lol!

February 26, 2011 at 8:43 PM  

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