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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Date Nights

Last week, I had the honor of publishing a piece on date nights in the Studio30 Plus Magazine.

Studio30 Plus is a blogging community where people over 30 can meet, network, exchange ideas, make new friends and find new blogs to follow.

In case you missed my post, here it is:

I must confess until this past Saturday, it had been over a month since my husband and I had our last date night.

I blame myself. If your home is like ours, I am the organizer/event planner/social activity director. If I don't schedule a babysitter or call my sister, date nights don't happen.

I've been dating my husband for eight years in May and I have no intention of stopping, but the minute you have children, let's face it, date nights become increasingly difficult to pull off.

Typically, we only get a sitter for a special occasion; a group function, a friend's birthday party, a work or holiday event where kids aren't invited. It's rare that date night is just the two of us. Plus, there's the warding off of the guilt, finding the time and funds, booking the sitter or begging family members, etc., etc., etc.

I believe one-on-one date nights are extremely important. Not every week, but certainly and at the very least, once a month. That's only 12 times a year.

I really get into our dates and by "get into" them, I mean I spend a little extra time on my appearance; washing and blowing my hair dry, shaving both my legs and applying full make-up. It's the least I can do when I consider 95% of the time, my husband gets yoga pants, sneakers, hair in a pony tail under a baseball cap and a gamey stench.

For us, date nights give us a chance to reconnect, catch up and spend a whole dinner [uninterrupted] gazing across the table at one another and remind ourselves that we are more than just our son's parents.

We recall why we fell in love in the first place, remember that we are two people with many layers, interests and emotions, all while making a conscience effort NOT to talk about our son, his latest milestone or funny moment, which is always a lot easier said than done. I wish we could find the time to have more evenings out together because they always bring us closer.

By the way, on Saturday, we had drinks and an appetizer at one of our favorite restaurants, followed by sushi at another and then ended up at a neighborhood bar for a night cap. We were home by 11:00 PM.

How often do you and your husband have date nights and what are your favorite ways to spend them?

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Anonymous Ilana @mommyshorts said...

My husband and I TOTALLY have to get better at this. Our daughter is now 14 months old and we go out next to never. We tend to go out when someone else plans a group gathering but we rarely take the initiative to do it for just ourselves. But a few weeks ago, we went on a vacation without the baby and it reminded me how important it is to reconnect. Too bad I got sick on Valentine's Day and we never made it out of the house.

February 15, 2011 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Sigh, my husband is not a dinner date kinda guy.
Our date night was usually spent browsing the local big box store. But I miss that. We've been too busy lately and he's having back trouble. Makes walking hard.
But we really need to get out.

February 15, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

I'm very happy that I live so close that you and Todd can have these date nights. Don't hesitate to call me ever! : )

February 15, 2011 at 5:40 PM  

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