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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I've Arrived!

I received my first THREE negative comments over the weekend and feel compelled to share a note with someone who likes to call themselves "Anonymous":

Dear Anonymous,

I may not know you're name, but I do know where you live and that you spent over 10 hours on my blog on Saturday. Thank you so much for visiting, but 10 hours? I didn't think what I had to say was all that interesting and I can't help but wonder what responsibilities you neglected while you were leaving nasty comments on my blog.You are a repeat visitor too.

I really appreciate your insight and well thought out responses [insert eye roll here] to my posts, Green With Envy regarding my jealousy towards my sister for going to a taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show and Ebony & Ivory, also about my sister, our relationship and 11 year age gap.

I have never moderated my comments before they are posted and have never deleted one that I didn't agree with. Oh, I take that back, I did delete Leah's on Ebony & Ivory, but featured it yesterday in it's entirety.

I always try to answer specific questions or provide further clarification when asked, either in the form of a personal e-mail to the commenter, an update post on the topic or in my own comment for all to read. Hard to do that when I don't who you are, so I'm doing it this way.... your very own post! :)

Anonymous, please don't judge me or insult me on my own blog, but if you must don't cowardly stand behind "Anonymous". It's really unbecoming. If you're going to be negative, you should have the balls to use your name.

That is all. Thanks, again for visiting! I really do feel like I've arrived now.


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Blogger singedwingangel said...

Ok I had to go back and read anons comment. Yep you've arrived. I think I have had maybe 3 negative anon's on my blog in 3 years. Perhaps they realize I will hunt them down from blogger and disqus stats and call them out on my fire vlogs lol

November 23, 2010 at 4:11 AM  
Blogger pr0udmom0f3 said...

Haha!! Dude, you are a TRUE blogger now, my friend. Way to go. *sarcastically of course*

I'm going to have to go back and take a peek at these comments myself. I can bet the chicken a** that let them doesn't know their butt from the hole it's sitting in.

November 23, 2010 at 4:47 AM  
Blogger pr0udmom0f3 said...

Left the following on your *EBONY/IVORY* post as well...

Wow!! ANON sure does sound like that ANNIE chick that was psychoanalyzing Mama Fargo a few weeks back.

But now, she is too chicken shit (yep, I said it!) to show herself on the blogs, seeing as we ALL gave that nasty, unprofessional psychotic a run for her $100/hour expense.

November 23, 2010 at 4:51 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

Love this one Tonya!

November 23, 2010 at 5:52 AM  
Blogger gingerbreadmama said...

Good for you Tonya! I need to go read those comments but it sounds like an unhappy person taking it out on you! Xoxo

November 23, 2010 at 6:31 AM  
Blogger KLZ said...

I'm a big fan of the "if you can't say anything nice" policy. Especially for those who are named anonymous.

November 23, 2010 at 6:32 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Woo hoo! Good response Tonya!

Anon sounds like he/she is a really happy, put together person who never has any personal problems and is so perfect that he/she can even tell other people what to think and how they should be running their lives. It must be amazing to be that perfect. I think you should thank Anon for being generous enough to share their knowledge of the world with all of us ;)

November 23, 2010 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger MrsJenB said...

Tonya, I don't even know you, but I like you already. I found this via Natalie's tweet (the 10 hours part caught my eye) and have read the "offensive" posts and I have to say this: "Anonyomous", get a life. Oh, and you should know that the things we dislike most in other people are the very qualities we posess ourselves. It's sort of a fact.

Since when is it a crime to be candid? Honest? Forthcoming? And if someone has a beef with what a blogger has to say, they should at least have the guts to own up to their opinion.

And ideally, something better to do with 10 hours of their life.

November 23, 2010 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger WTH am I Doing? said...

People like Anonymous? Are 1 aspect of the internet that I just can't stand. People who are too chicken shit to own their feelings hide behind the anonymity of the internet so they can bully other people. I read both of those posts and I see no malice in either of them. I do not see a selfish bitch who hates her sister. I see an honest person struggling with difficult feelings. Andy anyone who is honest & makes any attempt to know themselves? Will have difficult feelings to deal with. Pretending those feelings aren't there? Or that only a BAD person would have those feelings? Is ignorant and naive.

Ah, well. Congrats on your first troll!

November 23, 2010 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

You. Have. Arrived.

November 23, 2010 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Can someone leave a negative comment on my blog? Because I've never gotten one - in five years. What am I doing wrong?

Sometimes I click on a blog and get distracted and leave the house for HOURS and I come back and discovered I'm still on their blog. So I'm sure people are wondering WTH I am doing for reals.

Also, thanks for linking to my forgiveness post!! xo

November 23, 2010 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

I wonder if these anonymous people ever write nice comments without leaving their names? Or do they ever leave nice comments?
Maybe it's their personal goal to attempt to spread hate and discontent.

What an unfulfilling life that must be.

November 23, 2010 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

OK, this is really lame. I can't quite figure out why someone would go to such lengths to comment in a nasty manner AND do it anom!

I think you have the right perspective,, my dear, have arrived!

November 23, 2010 at 1:11 PM  
Blogger Sophie said...

Great way to answer to aggressivity!!! You're the best T!!! I will bet anything that ANON won't post anything else on your wall now : ) I'm sure she/he is a real chicken!

November 23, 2010 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger KristeenieB said...

I just don't understand why people feel the need to spread negativity if you don't like what someone has to say stop reading and move on. If you really feel that compeled to spread your nastiness with the world grow up and say it like a woman!!

November 23, 2010 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Mari said...

I never understood people who feel the need to write such angry comments. Of course they do it anonymously. Nobody would proudly claim such bitter, judgmental comments as their own. The only part I don't understand is that if you have a problem with that person...writing on their personal blog...then why read it? Why not just roll your eyes, mumble to yourself, and move on to people you *do* enjoy reading?

I hate hurting people's feelings, especially because I know how long I cling to what other people have said to me. Leaving a nasty comment on a blog, much less three? That seems so sad to me. I can't imagine that it feels genuinely satisfying to say things like that. Maybe a giddy sense of power for a few minutes, but pride? Satisfaction? I don't think so.

Your blog is a place to be authentic. Part of that means we sometimes expose parts of ourselves that are a work in progress. Keep being yourself, because honesty (even about things which may make us feel less-than-perfect) is part of integrity.

November 23, 2010 at 3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It looks like most of you have missed the point of my comments (which by the way, only 2 out of 3 were mine). It's the internet - the most anonymous and impersonal way to communicate with each other. I guess I could make a user name, and put a photo up of the back of my head, or of my favorite book, and that would mean that i have the "courage" to say what I want to, like all of you!

When you (Tonya) said I should grow some balls and have the courage to use my real name, it made me laugh - that's the same exact thing I thought when I read the Ebony and Ivory blog! Using the internet to vent about your sister and to ultimately initiate a serious heart to heart just disloyal. and cowardly. And funny enough, it seems like you agree, because you ultimately agreed not to talk about your relationship anymore on your blog.

And finally, I know that since you are all "followers" of this blog, you automatically jumped to the writer's side. But think of someone in your life that you need - a parent, your best friend, a brother or sister. Imagine how you would feel if you found out that they were sick of being there for you through their BLOG!

PS: Tonya, if you really think I spent 10 hours on your blog, you're delusional!

November 23, 2010 at 4:23 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

First of all, would it be wrong of me to admit I'm kinda jealous? I've never had an anon. comment. Doesn't look like I'm missing out on much though after reading the recent comment.

Don't they get that it is your blog. If you want to write and vent about something that is bothering you right then, you can. And you should. We didn't jump to the writer's side b/c we're "followers." We sided with her b/c she's right.

November 23, 2010 at 4:32 PM  
Anonymous MamaOnDaGo said...

Wow! You have arrived!

November 23, 2010 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Tonya said...

Anon, now that I know you are lurking about, you toad, do you honestly think that my sister and I haven't had a conversation about our relationship in the 26 years I have known her? That the very first time she realized there was an issue was on my blog? I don't hide behind my blog.

You obviously care enough about this to creep back and I have a feeling are someone that either Leah or I know in real life. If that's the case, you're pathetic.

Seriously, go find something better to do with your time. Like start your own blog and learn how to close your browsers.

November 23, 2010 at 4:41 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

Ok Ok Ok... I wanted to stay out of this but it seems like I need to throw my two cents in here as well.

First things first, Anon, come on now, this is getting out of hand. I certainly do not need you defending me on here. I am a grown woman and have talked to Tonya about my feelings. She knows that I was hurt by her blog post about our relationship. There is just no need for all the negativity that you are throwing out there in your comments. If you are my friend, please stop this. It's immature and hurtful.
While I may agree with some of the things you are saying, there is a right and wrong way to say it.

Geesh, can't we all just get along?

November 23, 2010 at 11:21 PM  

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