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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Growing Up

They say youth is wasted on the young.

They are right.

When I was younger I couldn't wait to grow up.

I was a a fool.

I wanted to live by my own rules and not have anyone breathing down my neck about my homework, bedroom or social life.

It was for my own good.

I wanted to crank up my music as loud as could without anyone asking me to turn it down and dress all in black if the mood struck me without anyone harping on me about it or reading into it.

What the hell did I know?

I wanted my own car so that I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, instead of having to negotiate pick ups, drop offs and chaperones. I hated having a curfew and thought, when I grow up and I'm out on my own, I'll stay out all night long if I want to.

I was cared for and loved.

I wanted my own money so that I could buy whatever I wanted, shop to my heart's content, throw elaborate parties for all my friends and look and feel fabulous all the while.

I must have been wearing rose-colored glasses.

When I was younger, I thought being a grown up would be so fun. So glamorous.

Ha!

I never stopped to think about how I was going to pay for my super exciting adult life. I didn't know the first thing about living on my own or working a 40+ hour week, car insurance, medical bills, parenthood or responsibility.

Being an adult is tough and full of stresses and heartaches. I didn't know how easy and carefree being a kid was and I wish I had appreciated it more.

Growing up doesn't happen overnight, and in a lot of ways, even though my 38 years says I'm an adult now, I feel like I am still a work in progress. I am STILL growing up, coming into my own and becoming comfortable in my skin.

Much of my growing up has happened since I became a mother. In the last 16 months, I have realized how quickly time passes and how my priorities (whether I like it or not) have shifted. I have also come to realize that growing up is about courage. And discovery. And change.

I can't wait to see what kind of man Lucas will be someday, but I hope it doesn't happen too fast.

I like my life and there are very few things that I would change about it and I would never go back to being a kid again, but I do wish I could have waited to get older.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Natalie said...

These same thoughts have been going through my head. I'm watching my kids grow into little adults in front of my own eyes, but it feels like only yesterday I was a kid myself.

Maybe the wishing to be older is just part of growing up. We all seem to do it. We want to be more than we are, but then realize that the right now is just as important.

October 28, 2010 at 8:53 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I would love to go back to my early 20's, when my biggest responsibility was just showing up to work everyday....

October 28, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger MamaOnDaGo said...

I definitely took my childhood for granted. I wish I spent more time enjoying being a kid instead of wasting my time wishing I was an adult. It wasn't until I was mother that I truly appreciated being a kid though. Too bad being an adult is now permanent.

October 28, 2010 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

Oh how true!!! Only now do I realize how easy/great I had it as a child...Lord knows why I wanted to grow up SO FAST?!

October 29, 2010 at 2:20 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Life is so simple as a kid, and even when you are a teen and you think things are *so* complicated...you simply have NO idea!

October 29, 2010 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

So true, my friend...so true. We can't wait to get here, but then realize that we had it all back then and just weren't aware of what "it" might be. Things change in good ways and bad, and it's a wild ride the whole way.

October 29, 2010 at 5:22 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

It's a shame that only when we have grown up, do we truly realize all this. Wouldn't it be neat if we just got it while it was all happening?

October 29, 2010 at 11:19 PM  

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