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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I'm Losing It

Confession Time!

I hate to say it, but some mornings, I don't want to do this. Some days, I don't feel like being someone's mom.

I know I sound like a terrible person and even worse mother, but I think to myself, I don't think that I can make one more bottle, change one more diaper or prepare another meal for this kid.

I don't know if I can sit through an episode of "Play With Me Sesame" or read one more book.

I'm not sure that I can muster the patience needed to listen to the same toys belt out their all too happy songs over and over and over again.

I know that I can't hear myself say, "no" and "please don't touch that" One More Time or I'm really going to lose it and God forbid you whine... that is the kiss of death!!

Sometimes I think I would rather check myself into a super fancy hotel, put on a big comfy bathrobe, order room service and LOTS OF WINE and watch movies all day long. C'mon, ladies, please tell me I'm not alone in my thinking, doesn't that just sound like bliss?

But then...

You do something completely and utterly adorable and look at me with those eyes and I know that I have to put one foot in front of the other and be the best mom I can be because you're my child and I want to.

The best is yet to be.

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7 Comments:

Blogger KLZ said...

I LOVE being a mom but sometimes I really think I can't make it through dinner time. It's just so damn repetitive and there is no ability to compromise when they're so little. You can't even say "let's eat pizza on the couch because I'm tired" because they don't eat pizza or sit still on the couch.

You are not alone.

June 2, 2010 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

You are not alone, and you are not a bad mom...at all! You are normal...every single mom has felt the same way at least once (and sometimes multiple times!) I wrote a post about this awhile back called What Nobody Tells You About Motherhood Before You Have Kids. Hugs to you!!

Also...have you checked out your Blog Brew review? Finally! The comments are coming in...I think there was a lull due to the long weekend.

June 2, 2010 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

Of course you are not alone.. I think you knew this already though.. I mean, come on, what mother doesn't wish that she could escape it all for a little while?! I think it would be abnormal to never have those feelings... I meant what I said, drop Lucas off in LA for a little while! We would have fun! Even just for 2 days or something... I would love that! My roomies would really love it too!

June 2, 2010 at 10:20 AM  
Anonymous Shane said...

Lucas IS the center of your universe but not the center of your universe.....get it? Absolutely normal Tonka T. If you could pay me a penny for everytime I find myself singing "CHUGGINGTON or WONDER PETS or The INCREDIBLES or It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", I be cash money rich girl! This is simply a phase yet an important one because you have to realize that you will NEVER get this time back...catch 22 my dear. LOVES YA!

June 2, 2010 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Sue Campbell said...

Just stopping by from Blog Brew Review. You are NOT alone. I am planning to "accidentally" put the Dora's World Adventure book in the woodstove becuase I cannot take reading it for the 407th time.

June 2, 2010 at 2:16 PM  
Blogger Nellie said...

Tonya, I jumped from Leah's blog to yours yesterday. I can't believe how much Lucas has grown. It was great fun looking at all his pictures.

Everyone has their ups and downs. I am sure motherhood is worth all the down times. Take care. Nell

June 2, 2010 at 5:01 PM  
Blogger Tonya said...

Thanks for all the support, ladies and gentleman. I appreciate it more than you know!! xoxo

June 3, 2010 at 10:12 AM  

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