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Sunday, January 17, 2010

You Own My Heart

It must be so frustrating being a baby. It must be terribly defeating not having the capability to communicate what it is that you want or need, when you want and need it. Without words, you are virtually crippled. You cry and whine and hope that your caretakers figure it out, but it usually takes them a while (particularly if one of your caretakers is me). It is so unfair to you and babies everywhere and it makes me feel bad, especially when you are sick. There really is nothing worse than a sick helpless baby.

Sometimes I look at you and wonder if you know how much you are loved. I can officially say, without a doubt, you own my heart. I didn't fall in love with you immediately, I had to get to know a little bit first. Now that I do, there's no turning back... The love you feel for your own child is really indescribable. It's deeper and wider than any other love there is.

I wonder if you feel my love? I have to think (hope) that on some level you do, like when you physically reach for me or draw yourself closer to me. That's early stages of affection, isn't it? Maybe it's just the instinctive need for the maternal caregiver?

I know love isn't enough when you are bored, over stimulated, tired, or just need a good burp, but I hope you know we are/I am trying and that I would do anything for you. I would do anything to make you smile.

Your Aunt Leah wrote you this poem shortly after you were born and posted it on her blog recently. It's sweet, simple and I don't think truer words have ever been said. I will treasure it always and hope that you will too.

Forever and Ever
Your parents made you with all of their love.

They had help from your mom’s parents up above.

We’ll love you forever, this much I know is true.

I can say for certain that there’s no one else like you.
As you grow up, we’ll do everything that we can

to make sure that you grow up to be a great man.
We promise to teach you all kinds of different things;

Like how to listen and what possibilities life brings.
You’ll learn how to play, work and how to read.

You will learn everything that you’ll surely need.

But most of all, we’ll show you how to love and care.
In this crazy world we live in, those feelings are often rare.

Right now, you are very small and you have your father’s looks.

Maybe when you’re older, you’ll be like your mother and love to read books.

Well, Lucas, let's treasure every moment we have together.
I will always love you forever and ever.

The best is yet to be and I, too will love you forever and ever.

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Blogger Leah said...

Aww, thanks for the props T. I am certainly no poet and don't really ever write poems either but that night i just felt like I needed an outlet for all this love for Lucas to go somewhere and thats where it ended up-in a poem!

January 17, 2010 at 11:31 PM  
Blogger mamacoreenie said...

Trust me, he knows. If someone else were holding him in a crowded room and you walked in, he'd know you were there in a heartbeat. You are his momma and soon enough he'll be able to tell you himself he loves you but until then, just believe that he knows.

January 18, 2010 at 9:38 AM  

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