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For My Broken Heart

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Monday, August 31, 2009

For My Broken Heart

The last time I saw my parents alive was the day after my wedding, Sunday, August 5, 2007.

My sister and I choose to remember them most on October 15, the day we were both notified of their passing.

Sometime between Friday, October 12, 2007 at 8:00 PM and Saturday, October 13, 2007 at 8:00 AM they died of carbon monoxide poisoning. They were 61 and 58 respectively...too young to die.

My parents lived overseas and dedicated their lives to working at American international schools around the globe for 28 years. My father was the principal of a kindergarten through 12th grade school in Tunis, Tunisia and my mother was a third grade teacher. They died in Tunisia.

For those of you who don't know, carbon monoxide is odorless, colorless and is the second-leading cause of poisoning deaths in the country. Carbon monoxide poisoning claims nearly 500 lives and another 15,000 require emergency room treatment. It can kill you before you know it because you can’t see it, smell it, or taste it. A water heater vent was damaged in my parent's kitchen and it emitted carbon monoxide into their home killing them.

It's hard to be the one left behind to pick up the pieces, ask the unanswerable questions. It's stupid to walk around angry at an inanimate object. Most of the time I just feel robbed. My parents were anything but done with this life. One week to the day before their lifeless bodies were found, they had decided to retire and return to the United States. They were anxious to see your aunt, who had recently graduated from college, start her life and begin building a career, they looked forward to us both having grandchildren (they would have been amazing grandparents and would have completely adored you, not to mention spoiled you rotten!) and had a long list of things they wanted to do to their Arizona home and trips they were excited to take. It's unfair that they were taken from us too soon. I miss them every single day and ache to hear their voices again.

I'm mostly sorry that you will never get to meet them in the physical sense. I hope between me, your dad and your aunt, you will know them in a different way.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but I will forever believe that the best is yet to be.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh Tonya, i am so sorry to read this...they were too young and sound like amazing people...keep them alive so your son knows them to the fullest~

September 17, 2009 at 1:22 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

it still hurts reading this...

February 12, 2010 at 12:22 AM  
Anonymous Nichole said...

My heart just breaks for you Tonya.

I cannot imagine the strength it took for you to even get out of bed in the days following their deaths.

My prayers are with you and your sister.

October 16, 2010 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Shell said...

How hard that must have hard it must still be. *hugs*

February 11, 2011 at 3:18 PM  
Anonymous lisa adams said...

Over Christmas a family of 14 (extended family with relatives visiting) down the street from us almost died from CO poisoning. It was terrifying to witness as they were brought to our house to recover and receive medical attention. There is so much to learn about it... and it's so tragic because it's preventable. I am so sorry for the loss of your parents not only for you, but for your son. I hope everyone who reads this will get a CO detector... it can save lives.

February 11, 2011 at 6:24 PM  
Anonymous Ellen said...

Oh this hits close to home. My dad died three weeks after my wedding and never got to meet my daughter. His was cancer, but it was really fast and he was gone almost at the same time we knew what was happening. He was too sick to make it to the wedding so he participated via cell phone. A really poor substitute. Luckily my sister and I and our foster sister were all able to tend to him during that last week while he slipped away at home. I've thought about him every day for the past three years. I keenly feel his absence for my daughter and for myself.

February 11, 2011 at 7:30 PM  
Anonymous Miel Abeille said...

I'm stunned. It just doesn't seem fair at all -- they weren't done with life! Maybe Lucas won't meet them here on Earth, but I always felt that there was a special nursery in Heaven, so the family members (grandparents, etc) who were already in Heaven could have some time "babysitting."

February 12, 2011 at 12:06 AM  
Blogger Elena said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your parents sound like they were amazing people. I'm sure that you do a fantastic job of showing Lucas just how great they were.

April 10, 2011 at 8:24 PM  

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